Re-Member: Volunteer Work on Pine Ridge Reservation

So I think it’s about time to give closure to my experience at Pine Ridge (from about six months ago) and post about it. It seems a world away now, like a vague dream, but one that profoundly affected my academics, the way I see America and my own sense of home and post-undergrad possibilities.

Arriving at Rapid City Airport in South Dakota, I was met with the state’s tourism and development advertisements. I was really curious to see how the state framed tourism and development in lieu of its obviously displaced Lakota demographic. I was pleased to see a large Indian statue at the entrance to the gift shop and an advertisement meant to lure white families to South Dakota as a “career opportunity” awaited them. I couldn’t help but think back to PBS’ The West series and how, well…nothing has changed. The same lure and the same ignorance.

This is not an easy conclusion to come to, mind you. I recognize South Dakota as a U.S. state, etc. It’s 2009, I know. But the irony is unmistakable and I’d be less jarred if I hadn’t been studying westward expansion for the past few months.

Moving on…

sick

sometimes i feel like they hate me
because i know things won’t be good
until the lessons are learned
and the ceremonies are done
until i weep in new ways
and reach further than i can grasp

both doubt and belief make me think i’m insane
they nod and say
“this is the road they all go down”

it’s that the becoming is so loud
and so necessary
for everyone involved

and at this point
i’m more afraid of pain
than even rationally acceptable

can’t shake the gaps between the anomalies
the dreaming turned waking too much to bear
and the omen after omen
after shudder

Dear Blog…

Nearly a 6 month hiatus. I hate making excuses, but senior year did try to tear me apart like a rabid bear. And not the kind that I like. We will reconnect this week. I promise.

Love,

Chiron